close to the sun
of being
under
thunder
a tree on fire
rooted
branching out,
holding up the light
but closing in on the ground
of being
over and
under
the roots will, on fire
de-sired
stretching/retreating
into the Night
teadoubleyousea
close to the sun
of being
under
thunder
a tree on fire
rooted
branching out,
holding up the light
but closing in on the ground
of being
over and
under
the roots will, on fire
de-sired
stretching/retreating
into the Night
Exceptions make rules;
Nights constellate jewels;
You dazzled, sweet flower,
At deep winter hour.
The route hence comes clear
Hope but also fear
“Obey thy rule-maker”
“Make nothing false, craven”
As I, some keen sailor,
Shall steer by your haven.
sky-reigns
always end in tears;
they end in rain.
dry-brains
always end in words;
they end, I explain.
our-chains
always end in rust;
they end, we must maintain.
the road of the everyday
carpets a threefold structure
plain, hillock and valley
it is sewn together by the traveller
the traveller on the front foot
the traveller of the everyday
the road of the everyday
has first-footed a level which is neither
the bliss of total travel nor the desperation of its helplessness
this road of the everyday
exchanges rises and falls
and centres evenly on their absence, one way and the other
everyday road of the everyday
cannot draw high without taking from low
and ever gone high has to follow-fall low
every day road, every day
where happy-travelling is the threadbare question
because the consequence of the highest heights is not ultimately in a route-taker’s favour
road everyday, everyday road
a plateau-like sadness travels alongside the plateau-like traveller
no extension of the up-hill excitement to the down-hill roll thereafter
road road, road road
the positive pursuit of the everyday every day, surely
starts with not footing-first groundlessly as if this loopy terrain were another
dayroad, tomorrow road, everyday
all travellers are peopled with regret
the most successful sadness, has learnt how to keep the needle steady.
*
loopy routes rooted essentially nowhere
there is a limit to the life of the traveller
and length of course is no necessary indicator of step-by-step achievement;
struggle one is to get/give back all the taken by all the roads taken
two is to leave more behind for the other travellers
a desire to enhance the future of enhancement
whence those not-yet-here will build on our own built-on –
yet adding more to nowhere barely makes this somewhere;
in fact it does not
start nowhere
are nowhere
go nowhere
often the settlement on second-best
which is to make this as easy as possible for one another
as our lostness in loss can burden them
and theirs us
and after that second-best we can do for ourselves is to go nowhere together, with others
whose going should be being made easier by us
which would make it easier for us to go
despite how hard the work of making-easy really is.
beginning to end of
a line
ahead of itself
such that there it is
with its head
feeding
on its own tail
but tales, tells
not more self-annihilation
than growth
from something like a self-making self-same
comestibility
that is,
starves and satiates
on a hunger for the
meeting with itself
whilst also all the time,
of course
spinning out –
out-of-control of course –
fattening itself up on so much more than itself,
yet feeding, and feeding on, foremost
that for which it feeds
(everyday nutrition,
in this sense,
the mere bare bones
of a much more temporal appetite)
so, spends time
spilling into itself
after stinging itself
always there also feeding back
future biting history
history, the old biting
and old bit
bleeds into the salivation
salvation
of a continuity
that presses forward
by pressing its fangs
probing
into
a hitherto
basically, orbit on its own axis
something in time able to time its own questions about time
minimally independent
of the most immediate answers
of an otherwise questionless timelessness;
hunger for itself
line forced into contortions
often getting quite fed up
but through that same bloatedness
already layering the appetite
reaching the round-about point
that will be the stomach –
swallowed itself
and out the other way again –
to stomach
the next moment
of a self-nurturing
nutritioning;
satisfaction,
the present-ing conditions
of a re-turn to an emptiness
that bites with the fulness of a line
turned to look at itself
at once
the opening and closure of something
in time
capable of life –
introductions –
beginning and ending in ways
that do not have to end the way begun.
the argument that starts in the in-decision about the right thing to be said
and the right ways to say it
so long on the tracks of generational station-calling
derails
turns into arguments about what has already been said about that
what those sayings mean, stations been
whether they themselves had any answers
and what they might be…
and yet, further to this
calling-station of station-calling
and de-railing altogether
asking questions of the being able to say
and of the how to say
insofar as these two episodes are concerned
railed and derailed
both of them are inasmuch indistinguishable
as still issuing-from as making-issue-of one and the same issue
the actually sayable
a mere change to the pattern of the action from which it is repeated
from talking about talking
tracking the attacks
to talking about text
attacking the tracks
and that is all
intention to attention to intention
prescribes a transition, describes a revision
like square to rectangle made
back to square, to be squared out
and the question in there is twofold
return square can the rectangle made be squared with first square? that is, is there any squarable likeness even despite square to rectangle made? do they succeed in resemblance?
and return square again can the first square be squared with rectangles made? that is, is first square reconcilable with rectangular spillage, at all? do they have any future together?
question one is about success and shape, a reaction of space – which is ultimately about impossibility
question two is about possibility and belonging, a reaction of time – which is ultimately about impossibility
all squares to rectangles come into squared revision
squared revision is also rectangular, of course
but in difference there are differences
and some possibilities play alongside impossibility a lot better than others
(more spillable in ways that let the freedom of spillage keep spilling out thereafter)
some squares are more rectangular than others.
in transition, in revision
movement is about describing that difference
and making sure of it.
Rectangle is a square landed
redoubled in effort
training in motion
trailing itself
caught up in a ridiculous self-tease;
a square of the utmost cared-for a priority
does not yet matter
but dropped
it starts to matter
at once more and less relatable
more and less stable –
rect-angles step out, tile down, the floor
intention and attention
writing and reading
square is before floor
rectangle on the floor
neither of which fully pictures the other
neither of which fully opens
or closes
the door of their exchange
the door
upright rectangle, ajar
a draft –
of the elements,
the most aware
of the slim enough –
to slip through:
squares to rectangles made
and rectangles cutting up squares
in ex-change
intention to attention to intention to attention
squares to rectangles to squares to rectangles
all of which some of themselves and some of the other
how very triangular
even to the point of being able to throw into doubt a distinction
and the upmost angle of cowardly triangulation
again, the door
not fully open
nor properly closed
unsquarable, rect-agle upstanding waiting for a meeting
un-started so un-finished
possibility
that one day it will happen
so, “ajar” is the possibility
of possibility
that is,
the seeping draft –
the back and forth momentum
of squares spilling rectangles
rectangles chopping squares
neither fully themselves
neither properly the other –
describes a movement caught in the action of its own possibility
recounting itself to itself as it happens
that is,
spilling
chopping
there is no lock
but locked into an uncertain transition
how very circular
and yet square
and rectangular
and triangular, too;
the light that glows between the door and its frame
like the draft
and the exchange
also seams
seemingly
with a motivated quality
the fundamental square root of all this (the) un-met.
like from like with me
with me
the sea might call on the sun with me
me-me with me
and the sea might count the nights with me
seas with me
cease with me
sun-seen scenes with me
sea sun
sea son
sea sin
with me
sea set the sun set me sat with me
with me
sitting with me
setting with me
sinning with me
sands sent on the short side of sea-under-sun with me
with me
coastal with me
it is beach with me
contextual, all that and all that with me
a mess with me
from me: the-desert-with-me with me
have to count the numbers of counting with me
and only desert me with me
and so a lot and then almost no one with me
and then the hope is days long with me
underwater with me
and over the top with me
crystal-ware dolphins on the mantlepiece with me
nowhere with me
contradictory me with me
me with me with me
and someone else not me with me
but who wanted to “me” with me
be with me
“me” more than me with me
seas with me
cease with me
of thirds with me
many many threes with me
meeting me with me
about meeting people with me
me and those people with me
sometimes more than me with me
but always more than me with me
whether people or just me with me
back and forth in population sizes with me
with me
or not with me
many many with me
many more with me
trees with me
on the seas with me
ceasing with me
me and not-me with me
me and me and not-me but then again me again with me
and all that and all that and not at all with me
yes, all that like not at all with me
but always me
with me
with me
desire properly speaking
cannot be stood up
cannot stand down
cannot stand itself standing
but has to fall
if walked straightline –
footprints left behind
like impressions made by a hesitant movement
second-wanting to retrieve itself
to go back as well as forward –
this is not desire properly speaking
desire qua desire, this is not speaking properly
desire
properly spoken
cannot plan its own route
cannot map a way out
cannot break down to itself its own breaking-down-into-itself
if it wants
if it burns
first burning more than it wants
then wanting more than it burns
it has to fall into its own wanting
to be led
and bled
by that groundless motion
the only way to turn
not back
not even forth
but spiral
down into the emptiness
of the fullness
of an unconditional
wanting
properly speaking,
falling by a properness that would make speech itself fall behind the falling proper –
indeed, to a falling that, spiralisation, strips the single poem of the singular originality proper to the cosmic Poetry of chasmic Desire
the latter, itself not a poem, nor a series of poems, but the Poetry of a voice
unmoored and unpersuaded
by the ignorance of certain types of knowledge that, level, are just
more distance in disguise
a falling-back
onto a familiarity
that keeps us too familiar
with a certain idea of the self –
in other words,
in words that cannot keep up,
spoken properly,
and so without preface, recipe or annexation
never to let oneself fall behind the falling
but to fall through
listening to desire as “the desire to listen”
wanting to hear it properly spoken
which means never being able to speak it properly oneself
but let its limits outnumber one’s limits
without safe return, head first into the fire of the roar of the world
and thereby vitalising it
inasmuch increasing one’s own volume by, part-taking, increasing its volume
to let that be the case
mounting the case for that to be the case
irresistibly
unconditionally
is desire.